Wildflowers III5: Blood Stains
by XenaLives
Summary: A short companion story to Sidetracked filled with emotional turmoil following the harrowing events in Paige and Emily's lives. Can Emily help Paige find peace after the horrors of the train from Greeley to Cheyenne?
1. Chapter 1

"Paige, you're drunk." Emily said as she turned her head from Paige's sloppy mouth and pushed against her shoulders to back her up.

"I know…" Paige slurred. "...and I want you so much right now." She pressed forward again until she had Emily backed up against the kitchen counter.

Emily leaned away from her. "Not like this." She usually didn't mind if Paige had a drink of two. In fact, many times she found her sexy as hell after a couple of beers or a glass of whiskey. She was relaxed and loose when she looked at Emily with a lazy, crooked smile and had extra swagger in her hips.

Tonight, though, she was drunk and aggressive as her rough hands pulled at Emily's blouse trying to get to her bare skin. It wasn't the first time this week. Paige had been spending a lot of time at the Rosewood lately, drinking heavily and gambling. More times than Emily wanted to think about in the last month she had come home late, smelling of smoke and whiskey. Sometimes making it to the bed, other times Emily found her in the morning passed out on the sofa, her boots and coat still on.

Emily hadn't made a big deal out of it but she was concerned. Paige had endured so much recently with the attack in the canyon and seeing her parents for the first time in years followed immediately by the horrors they had faced on the train from Greeley. Emily had tried, many times, to talk to Paige about it but Paige had brushed her off, made a joke or said some things, Emily suspected, she thought she wanted to hear.

The Marshal from Greeley had come out as he had said he would shortly after it happened and Paige went down to her father's office in Cheyenne to answer his questions. Emily hadn't gone and she had refrained from asking her father what was said. She wanted to respect Paige's privacy and hoped she would open up to her when she was ready. She hadn't.

As the weather got cold and they made ready to get the herd and ranch through the long winter Paige grew increasingly distant. The knee brace was off but she still couldn't walk far without the help of her cane and could do little to help. She was riding Hank again, and had been for a while but Emily had seen her leg buckle under her a few times, sending her to the ground when she thought no one was looking. She probably shouldn't have been riding but Emily knew any more concern or admonitions about her health would only darken her mood further so she let it go.

Then her drinking started. Emily hoped it would burn itself out in time but it had just gotten progressively worse. "Paige, get off!" She gasped as Paige continued to grope and paw at her. Emily shoved her hard, out of fear, sending Paige stumbling back.

"Son of a bitch!" Paige snarled as her weight came down hard and her right leg twisted under her. She dropped to the ground, clutching her knee.

"Paige…" Emily started, with concern, and stepped to help, her own discomfort forgotten.

"Don't!" Paige snapped and struggled to her feet. "I'm fine!" She grabbed her cane from the counter where she had laid it and thumped out of the room and up the stairs without another word.

Emily leaned back against the counter and sighed deeply, closing her eyes. Paige's pain, physical and emotional, was breaking her heart. She didn't know how to help her. She couldn't help her if Paige continued to shut her out.

It was late and Emily was exhausted but she lingered in the kitchen, enjoying the heat from the wood stove a little while longer. She didn't want Paige to be awake when she went to bed. She hated that she felt that way but she didn't have the energy to fight with her tonight.

When Emily finally headed to bed Paige was sleeping deeply, an arm over her face and a pillow propped under her knee. Emily undressed and slipped into bed beside her, only a few inches away but it might as well have been a few miles. A heaviness settled over her and she didn't try to stop the tears as they rolled down her face, dampening her pillow.

It was late October and they hadn't had snow until that night. As the first snowfall quietly blanketed the landscape Emily awoke with a start, a hand going to her chest, as Paige screamed in her sleep and thrashed wildly against her.

Emily sat up, heart racing, and gripped Paige's flailing hands in her own. "Paige!" She called to her. "Paige, wake up!" Emily reached for her and cupped her face, feeling the wetness of her skin from sweat or tears or both.

Paige cried out again, too much alcohol keeping her from waking, and Emily shook her shoulders hard in panic. "Paige, Honey, it's only a dream. You're safe!" She called to her trying to break through.

Paige's eyes flew open with a gasp and she sat bolt upright in the bed with a desperate, strangled sound, her hand clutching at her arm and chest as if in pain. "Oh...God…" She breathed and dropped her head into her hands, sucking in deep lungfuls of air.

"Paige…" Emily reached for her arm but Paige flinched away. "...please, talk to me." Emily pleaded. She leaned to the bedside table and struck a match, lighting a lantern.

The low light filled the room and Emily looked to Paige with concern. She sat, curled in on herself, hugging her legs to her chest and breathing raggedly. Emily wondered how long the nightmares had been going on. She didn't believe this was the first, just the first she knew of. Maybe this explained the drinking. Maybe the alcohol kept the nightmares at bay. But not tonight.

Paige took a shuddering breath and pressed the palm of a shaky hand against her forehead as if to ward off a headache. "I can't talk about it." She finally said.

Emily sighed. "Paige, you have to talk to someone. If not me then someone else. Anyone." Emily pleaded. "You can't keep whatever you're feeling walled up inside you. It will eat you alive."

Paige shook her head. "It will pass." She breathed. "I just need some time."

Emily shook her head. "I don't think so, Paige. I know you're hurting. I know you're scared but please, don't shut me out." Emily pleaded. "I can help you if you let me."

Paige stood shakily and limped into her clothes, buttoning her shirt crookedly. "I need some air." She breathed and staggered out of the room without taking her cane.

Emily might have let her go on her own but she hadn't taken her cane and she was worried she would hurt herself. As Emily wrestled into her clothes she heard the front door open and close. She reached for the cane and headed downstairs.

Emily looked out the kitchen window to see Paige standing in the middle of the yard with no coat, face up to the sky letting the snow fall on her skin. Emily pulled on her own coat and grabbed Paige's before heading out.

"Paige." Emily said softly as she approached and draped her coat over her shoulders. It was cold and Paige had on only a thin shirt and pants. "Come back inside." Emily looked up when she saw a light come on in the bunkhouse. Toby and Holden stood in the doorway. She raised a hand to let them know they were alright.

Paige clutched her coat around her shoulders and nodded silently. Emily slid her cane into her hand and walked next to her, being careful not to touch her, as she made her way slowly back to the house.

Inside, Paige stood and let her coat fall to the floor. "I'm going to sleep down here." She said and moved to sit on the sofa in the front room

Emily sucked in a breath at her words. She understood Paige was deeply troubled but there was no way to not take that as a rejection of her and it hurt bitterly. "If that's what you need." Emily answered softly.

Emily felt the tears burning behind her eyes and swallowed heavily. She couldn't lose her. She would do whatever she had to. "I'll never give up on you." She whispered before returning upstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

The next days passed slowly, an uncomfortable silence settling over the house. Paige only spoke when spoken to. She moved through the house like a ghost, avoiding Emily when she could and going out every night, returning late. She never reached for Emily again but she came to bed, falling into an alcohol induced, dreamless sleep.

Emily gave her space but her worry and frustration grew. Paige was drawn and pale, she wasn't eating and had lost weight. Emily was done sitting around waiting for Paige to come to her. She missed her desperately and she couldn't live like this any longer or let Paige do this to herself.

She rode into town in the evening. The snow wasn't deep yet but it was cold and Emily sat huddled on Maggie sinking into her thick wool and canvas coat. Paige had been sitting, staring into the fire when Emily had told her she was going to see her father. If she had heard, Paige gave no indication.

Emily rode straight to the Marshal's office. He rose when she came in shaking off the cold, noticing immediately her anxiety and sadness.

"What's wrong, Baby?" Her father said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

Emily trembled as his strong arms went around her. "I don't know what to do." She choked out. "I'm afraid I'm losing her."

Her father squeezed his daughter tightly. He knew what she was talking about. There wasn't much in this town that he didn't know about and Paige's dramatic shift in behaviour was noticeable and alarming. He was surprised it had taken his daughter this long to come to him. He had thought to broach the subject with her but it wasn't his business and Paige, as of yet, hadn't done anything to warrant his attention.

"Come here, Emmy, sit down." He lead her to a chair and poured her a drink to dispel the chill. "How can I help?"

Emily sipped the whiskey, letting it warm her chest and settled her nerves. "I want to see the report from the train...incident." She didn't know what to call it. Her father was only peripherally involved in the investigation but she knew the Marshal in Greeley had sent him a copy of the finished report.

Her father thinned his lips. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Baby." He answered.

Emily was desperate and unloaded on her father. "Paige won't talk to me, she won't touch me, she won't even look at me. She's not eating and sleeping only if she's drunk to keep the nightmares away." Emily stood and paced the office. "I can't help her if I don't know what happened. I know this is about what she did, what she was forced to do to protect herself and the rest of us and I need to know, Dad, please." She finished and dropped back into the chair.

Her father looked hard at his daughter. He had been there when Paige had given her account of what had happened. It was not long after the incident and, at the time, she seemed to be handling it alright. She gave a detailed retelling of the night, managing to keep herself detached and distant from the violence and pain. The Marshal had, at the time, been impressed with her resolve but later realized it was probably just an early warning sign of her internal torment.

"Dad, please." Emily whispered. "We have to help her."

Her father nodded solemnly. "Okay, Baby." He reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a thick stack of papers, loosely bound.

Emily took the report with shaking hands laid it open on his desk. She was nervous as she began at the first page.

Her father rose quietly. "I have some things I need to take care of, Emmy." He headed for the door. "I'll come check on you later."

Emily forced herself to read every word, a hand going to her mouth, her breath coming harshly as she read Paige's words of her discovering the assault, jumping to the Pullman car to make sure they didn't get separated, damaging her knee in the process, and kicking the man off the back of the train.

The tears started to fall as she read of the fight with the man in the cab and how Paige ended it by crushing his head with a shovel. She read about the gunfight on the roof of the dining car and the man Paige had shot three times. His wounds probably would have killed him but he fell to a gruesome death under the train trying to get away from her before that could happen.

Finally, there was the man with the whip. Paige had stood there, letting him hurt her badly in order to draw him in close. She kicked him repeatedly, breaking his leg before choking him to death with his own whip.

Emily closed the report, shakily, the rest of it she knew. She hung her head and breathed deeply making an effort to slow her racing heart. She didn't know if it was worse than she had expected but reading it made the horror of it real. She could only imagine what Paige was going through. Emily had killed, too. She knew of the guilt, the anger and doubt that welled up inside her after she had shot and killed Ben Coogan. It was deeply painful to reconcile the person she knew herself to be with what she has discovered she was capable of becoming.

Emily had had no choice. Paige hadn't either but she couldn't see it now. She had killed three men up close, two brutally with her hands and she was suffering intensely for it now. Emily sensed Paige hadn't wanted to talk about it because she was sparing Emily the horrors of what she had done. She didn't want Emily to know of the violence inside her. Emily knew now and there was no reason for Paige to hide from her any longer.

Emily pushed herself up. She had what she needed and she intended to confront Paige. Tonight.

The Rosewood was busy when she entered despite the cold or, perhaps, because of it. It was a night Aria was performing and, as usual, there was a full house. Emily headed straight for the bar. Caleb was busy with customers but he looked up, his face a mask of surprise, at her arrival.

"Emily!" He said and he didn't look thrilled to see her. "What are you doing here?"

Emily frowned at him. "Is there some reason I shouldn't come in for a drink and to see my friend?"

Caleb pursed his lips. "Is that why you're here?" He asked suspiciously.

Emily sighed and chewed her lip. "No." She looked at her friend. "Is she here?"

Caleb nodded to the far table where the poker games were typically held. "Yes, but, Emily…" He began.

She had already turned away, her eyes sweeping the crowded room. She couldn't see well through the people in the way. As a group of men moved away she caught sight of Paige sitting at the card table a bottle of whiskey not far from reach. The table looked high stakes tonight as Ezra Fitzgerald sat to her left, Ian Thomas, president of Cheyenne Bank and Trust, sat to her right and across from her sat Spencer's father. She was laughing as she laid down her cards and swept the pot toward her with both hands. She had won again.

All of that Emily had expected. What she hadn't and what, now, sucked the breath from her lungs and twisted her guts was Alison DiLaurentis bent over Paige from behind, arms casually draped over her shoulders and resting across her chest. She leaned in and whispered something in Paige's ear, her lips brushing her cheek. Paige turned into her, listening, a slow smile coming to her face.

Emily tore her eyes away and turned back to the bar with a gasp, her heart pounding. She looked to Caleb. "What the hell is this?" She asked.

Caleb frowned in sympathy. "Emily-". He began.

"Has she….are they…oh, my God...has Paige been with her?" Emily asked with a groan.

"No!" Caleb practically shouted. "No, Emily, not a chance. I would know and it's never happened." He put a hand on her arm.

Emily nodded and exhaled slowly. She believed him. "I don't understand what's happening, Caleb."

Caleb's eyes swept the room until they landed on one of the serving girls. He whistled sharply to her and waved his hand indicating she should come and take over behind the bar.

Caleb motioned Emily to come with him down to the end of the bar where they had more privacy.

"How long has this been going on?" Emily asked sadly.

"A while." Caleb admitted. "We wanted to tell you but we weren't sure how or if it would...I don't know...be a betrayal of Paige's trust. We care about her, too."

"We?" Emily asked.

Caleb shrugged. "Hanna, Spencer...we've all seen her here. A lot." He looked away, uncertain. "I'm sorry. We should have come to you."

"No." Emily sighed. "It's not your fault. Has she spoken with you?"

"Not much." He relied. "I mean, she's friendly but she seems, I don't know, distant and uncomfortable around us lately."

"Yes, I know what that's like." Emily agreed, sadly.

"Listen, Emily." Caleb reached across the bar to place his hand on her arm. "I think it's pretty obvious Paige is in a really dark place right now. I don't know what's going on with her, exactly, she seems to be surrounding herself with folks who, I don't know how to explain it, share some of that darkness. Does that make any sense?"

Emily considered carefully. "I suppose, it does, but why?"

Caleb took a breath. "I think to protect you."

"From what?" Emily asked.

"From her." He answered.

Emily stared at him before dropping her head into her hands. "She doesn't have to do that." She sighed. "I don't know how to get through to her."

Caleb pulled her hands away from her face. "Keep trying." He encouraged. "Paige's first instinct is always to protect you. Use that."

Emily chewed her lip in thought. "I understand." She turned to look back to the poker and table and saw Paige staring right at her, her expression hard and angry. Emily held her eyes for a moment but was forced to look away from Paige's icy stare.

"Thank you, Caleb." She rose. "I should go."

Emily wended her way through the crowds. She made it to the door and was stopped when a strong hand gripped her upper arm hard, turning her around.

"What are you doing here?" Paige demanded.

"Paige…" Emily sucked in a breath and tried to pull out of her grip only to have Paige tighten her hold on her. "Paige, let go of me."

"Are you spying on me?" Paige' eyes narrowed, angrily. "Because it cuts both ways, Emily. You don't own me." She ground out, her hand like iron around her arm.

"I know that, Paige." Emily said and struggled against her hold. "Paige, you're hurting me." Emily gasped.

Paige's eyes widened and she abruptly let go of Emily and stepped back with a look of surprise aware that some of the other patrons, including the men at her table, were watching her with interest. She took a breath her expression altering from angry to sad. "You shouldn't have come here, Emily." She said.

Emily could only stare at her for a moment before turning and walking out.

* * *

**Fear not, Gentle Readers. You know I always do right by our Wildflowers.**


	3. Chapter 3

Emily sat at the kitchen table swirling a glass of whiskey, untouched, when Paige came home hours later.

"See." Paige said with a smirk. "It helps doesn't it?"

Emily slammed the glass onto the counter, shattering it. "Goddamnit, Paige!" She yelled furiously as she rose to her feet.

Paige took a step back from her, eyes wide in surprise.

Emily had had enough. This ended tonight. "Is this what you want? You want me so angry I send you away so it doesn't have to be on you? So, you can tell everyone I ended it?." Emily raged at her.

Paige stood unmoving, leaning on her cane. Her mouth open as if to speak but Emily never gave her the chance.

"Do you want to leave me? Go live in town, shacking up with Alison and spending your nights drinking and gambling with your new friends?" She spat at her. "Would that make you happy?" She eyed Paige hard.

Emily watched intently as a range of emotions flickered across Paige's face, confusion, hurt and sorrow until she eventually set her jaw in anger. "I don't know, maybe." She answered tightly.

Emily expected this and nodded slowly. Paige's eyes betrayed her. Despite her words all Emily saw was fear and grief. She measured three long slow breaths. "Before you go, you need to help me understand something…." Emily began.

Now came the hard part. Emily struggled to control her breathing and calm her own inner turmoil. She had to get through to her. She had to break down her walls.

"I need to know how you can take a beating for me? How you can take a bullet for me?" Emily's voice rose and cracked with emotion. " How you can swim through raging water to pull me to safety or surrender yourself to escaped convicts who would gun you down and leave your body for the buzzards to protect me?" Emily gulped a breath and looked away, fighting tears. "You need to explain to me how you could...you could...stand on top of a moving train with a ruined knee and let a man...let a man whip you in order to get to me?" She was losing it. She swallowed thickly and powered on. "Only to come home and push me away and shut me out. I need to know, Paige, before you walk out the door, how you would sooner be hurt or killed than see anything happen to me and you can just stand there now and...break my heart." Emily couldn't rein in her tears any longer and they flowed steadily down her face.

Paige had gone ashen, standing unmoving, her grip on her cane white knuckled, her eyes bright with tears. Emily could see she was breaking through and she had to keep chipping away at her. "Of everything we have been through, of all the dangers we've faced I've never been as frightened as I am right now." Emily moved to within arms length of her but didn't touch her.

Paige was rigid, like she was about to crack open into pieces. "I need you, Paige…" Emily's breath hitched. "I need you to save us. I promise, I will do everything I can to help you through this. You know I will. I told you on the train I choose you. Please, Paige. Please, choose me, too."

Emily let out a long slow breath, dropping her head. Her body ached from tension and her head pounded. It was all she could say. She looked at Paige again before turning and heading up the stairs.

Emily sat on her bed in the dark, quietly, her heart heavy with dread that the next sound she heard would be of Paige leaving out the door. She heard the soft rustle of Paige's coat coming off and being hung up. She heard the rhythmic thump of Paige's cane on the floor and cabinets opening and closing before the tinkling sounds of Paige cleaning up the shattered glass from the counter.

Emily exhaled the breath the didn't know she'd been holding as she heard the fire roar to life in the front room. Between sounds of the crackle and snap of the burning wood Emily thought she could hear Paige crying.

Emily cried, too, and waited until she was sure Paige would be asleep before going downstairs to check on her. The fire had burned low but the room was warm. Paige was stretched out on the sofa, boots off, her cane resting at the end against the arm. She looked pale and exhausted, her face stained with tears. Emily longed to touch her but held back.

Emily placed another log on the fire and settled into the armchair to keep watch over her tonight. She didn't want Paige to be alone. She didn't want to be alone either.

It was near dawn when Emily awoke to Paige's cries of terror. She jumped from the chair and crouched on the floor at Paige's head, gripping her shoulders and shaking her. "Paige! Wake up!" She called to her. "You're safe! Paige, wake up!"

Emily gasped as Paige's eyes flew open, unseeing, and she lunged for her, her hands wrapping like a vice around her neck, a scream of rage tearing from her throat. Paige's weight drove Emily back onto the floor, choking her.

Emily gagged and clawed at Paige's hands. "Paige…stop…" She rasped. "...it's...Emily…"

Paige's eyes were glazed and unfocused, her mouth twisted in a snarl of fury as she squeezed her hands around Emily's throat.

Emily pushed, futilely, at her, her vision beginning to gray at the edges. Paige was going to kill her. "Paige...please…" She said weakly as her hand fumbled down Paige's body. She felt along her right leg, her knee, and dug her fingers hard into the tendons and soft tissues around her knee cap.

Pain lanced through her leg and Paige snapped back into her body with a jolt. She blinked and shook her head. Emily was pinned under her, gagging and clawing at her chest. She jerked her hands up. "Oh, my, God…." She pushed herself off Emily who struggled to turn onto her side choking and retching, trying to fill her lungs. "Emily...oh, God...what did I do!" Paige yelled in panic,

Paige reached for her and Emily pushed her away. "Don't…" She choked. "...just...stay back…"

Paige pushed herself to her feet, frantic with worry. She didn't know what to do. Get Toby? Get Spencer? She limped to the kitchen and filled a glass with water, her hands trembling. Emily had pushed herself to sitting, her hand massaging her neck, her breathing ragged. Paige held the glass out to her but Emily's hands shook so much she couldn't hold it. Paige helped her guide it to her lips.

Emily took a few painful swallows, wincing as her throat worked around the water. She looked at Paige, pale and shaken, and didn't know which of them was in worse shape right now. Paige sat on the floor, her left leg curled under her and her right out straight to the side.

Emily's breathing was returning to normal and the pain was subsiding. She turned as she heard footsteps on the front porch and saw the flicker of lantern light through the window. Emily pushed herself to her feet and straightened, smoothing her blouse and skirt before opening the door.

Holden stood at the door looking worried and uncomfortable. "Emily…" He looked surprised to see her. "...I'm sorry, I was checking on Maggie and I heard…." He peered passed her to see Paige sitting in the floor, her head in her hands. "...I heard...is everything alright?" He finally asked.

"Yes, Holden." Emily replied a little hoarsely. "Everything is fine. I'm sorry to scare you."

Holden eyed her holding the lantern up to see her better, his eyes traveling to her neck, red with the beginnings of bruises from Paige's hands. His eyes narrowed in concern. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Emily's hands went to her neck at his stare. "It's nothing. It was an accident." She said evenly.

He nodded uncertainly. "I can get Toby-"

"No." She cut him off. "You don't need to do that. Please, just keep this to yourself. I'm fine." She repeated.

"If you say so." He said though he didn't sound convinced.

Emily closed the door and moved back into the room. Paige hadn't moved. "Paige." Emily said softly. "Are you okay?"

Paige jerked her head up. "Am I okay?" She stared at Emily. "Am I okay?" She repeated. "Emily, I almost killed you!" She dropped her head back into her hands. "Oh, God, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry…"

She sounded so afraid. "Come on." Emily held a hand out to her. "Let me help you."

Paige looked at her uncertainly before holding out her hand and letting Emily help her to her feet. Her knee throbbed and she could put little weight on it as Emily guided her to the sofa and helped her swing her legs up.

"Let me see." Emily gently pushed Paige's pant leg up and over her knee. It was swelling again and looked painful. Emily wanted to apologize but didn't. "I'm going to wrap it for you." She left to get the heavy bandages that Paige hadn't needed for weeks until tonight.

Emily didn't speak but focused on her task as she wrapped her knee tightly, pinning the bandages in place and easing her pant leg back down. When she looked up at her finally Paige's face was tight with pain and silent tears streamed down her face.

Emily reached to brush them away gently. "Do you want anything for pain?" She asked quietly.

"No" Paige breathed. "I need to feel it." Paige answered and Emily knew she wasn't talking about the physical discomfort.

Emily nodded. "Tell me." She encouraged.

Paige took a few shuddering breaths. "I can't, um, I can't stop seeing it…" She began haltingly. "Everytime I close my eyes I see their faces, their fear of me." She sobbed a breath. "I hear their strangled breaths, their dying screams." She covered her face with her hands. "Oh, God, what's happening to me?"

"Oh, Honey…" Emily grasped her hands and pulled them away to see her face. "...why didn't you come to me?"

Paige swallowed heavily. "Because I didn't want you to know. Because I was trying to be strong for you. Because I didn't want you to see me as this...this monster…" She trailed off.

"Paige." Emily gasped. "I could never think of you that way."

"But what I did…" Paige choked out. "...what I did…"

"You did what you had to do, Paige." Emily said firmly and pinned Paige with her eyes. "There was no other way and you have nothing to be ashamed of." Emily licked her lips and looked away. "Why would you think I wouldn't understand? I know the guilt and self doubt you are feeling now."

Paige dropped her head back, eyes closed, and cried. "I feel so repulsive...how could you want to be with someone who has done the things I've done?"

"Paige, the only thing you've done is defended yourself and protected innocent people and the people you love." Emily argued. "What you have done should be lauded not reviled. How can you not see that?"

"I try…" Paige whispered and shook her head. "...but all I see is the sightless stare of a man dead by my hands." She took a shuddering breath. "If what I did was so good, why am I being punished like this?"

Emily sucked in a breath at Paige's words and her heart broke at the despair she heard in her voice. Emily had no idea she had been suffering like this and wished, desperately, she hadn't let it go on so long. Paige was trapped in this spiral of self doubt, insecurity and mistrust and couldn't see past her guilt and hurt. Paige needed help beyond what Emily could give her but she had an idea where she could find it.

"Oh, Love." Emily shook her head and caressed Paige's cheek.. "You're going to get through this, I promise." She said softly. They were going around in circles and Emily could do nothing more for her right now. "Please, try and get some rest, Paige."

Paige's eyes flew open. "I can't go to sleep, I can't go back there..." She said shakily. "...what if I hurt you-"

"Stop." Emily cut her off and placed her hand to her face. "It won't happen again, Paige. It was an accident." Emily smoothed a hand across her brow. "I trust you."

"Emily-" Paige argued and moved to sit up.

"Paige, you're exhausted." Emily laid a hand on her chest to still her. "Please, try to, at least, relax. We can talk more later."

Paige sighed. She was tired beyond words. She would be the first to agree she felt better having talked with Emily. Maybe, with Emily here, her demons would let her rest. She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep to the sound of the crackling fire.


	4. Chapter 4

Emily glanced at Paige again as they rode into town in the wagon. Emily hadn't told her where they were going, just that Emily had someone she wanted Paige to meet. Someone Emily thought could help.

Paige huddled quietly on the bench next to her as the ponies worked to pull them through the snow covered track. The injury to her knee had flared back up when Emily had used it to wake her and Paige was unable to ride. Emily liked being able to keep an eye on her anyway.

Emily was relieved that Paige had slept again and when she awoke she seemed calmer and her eyes were clearer. She was still quiet and withdrawn but let Emily help her to get cleaned up and dressed to go out. She seemed willing to let Emily take the lead and receptive to the offer of help, whatever form that may take.

Emily didn't know if what she had planned was going to work. Paige had never spoken of her Faith but she knew Paige was spiritual in many ways. She needed to speak to someone who could help her work through her complex and conflicting emotions. She needed to be able to forgive herself and believe in herself again. Believe that she was a good person despite having to do, arguably, bad things.

Emily guided the wagon to the front of the small church. Paige picked up her head as they came to a stop and immediately recognized where they were. Her eyes widened and she began to tremble beneath her heavy coat.

Emily placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come in with me?" She asked gently. Paige swallowed heavily and nodded.

Emily moved around to Paige's side and held out her hand. Paige was unsteady as she climbed down and wobbled until Emily got an arm around her and slipped her cane into her hand to help take her weight. They walked up the short path and Emily pushed the doors open.

Emily had attended church regularly with her mother but, after her death, had distanced herself from services. Her mother's Faith had been strong and Emily had enjoyed being a part of it with her. It had been painful to continue to attend after her death. The sympathy, the condolences the kindness was almost more than she could stand.

Though, she had stopped going she maintained a good relationship with Edward, the Pastor and, when they did cross paths, he always made sure she knew that the doors were always open for her and she was welcome back at anytime and for any reason.

They entered and walked quietly down the aisle. There was no service going on. The chapel was lit softly with candles in sconces along the walls. More flickering candle light came from a small table to the right of the altar lined with votive candles, a few of them lit, available to parishioners for prayer intentions.

Paige stopped halfway down the aisle, her eyes fixed on the prayer table. Emily could feel the tension in her, and the uncertainty as she took a shuddering breath before continuing toward the table.

Emily didn't go with her but slipped into a pew and watched as Paige knelt on her left knee, her right leg to the side, in front of the table and crossed herself. Paige struck a match from the small glass on the table and watched it burn for a moment before lighting a candle.

Emily swallowed around the lump growing in her throat as she watched Paige shake out the match flame after the third candle flamed to life. A door opened softly to the left of the altar and Pastor Edward stepped through. His eyes brightened as he saw Emily and he opened his mouth to greet her. Emily gave a sharp shake of her head to stop his words and moved her eyes to Paige.

He followed her gaze and saw Paige, head bowed in prayer, shoulders shaking in silent grief. He returned his gaze to Emily in understanding, offering her a nod and small smile. Emily released a slow breath as Edward joined Paige at the prayer table, close but not touching, and spoke softly to her. She could not hear what was said, it was not meant for her, but she could see the tension start to leave Paige's body as she listened to him, nodding occasionally, and spoke to him in return.

Emily felt herself begin to relax and let the serenity of the chapel wash over her. She was finally able to let herself believe, maybe for the first time, that everything was going to be alright. That Paige would find herself again and come out on the other side of this, forever changed, no doubt, but whole and able to move on, at peace with what happened.

Emily knew it would take time and patience and they would, she understood, have their setbacks, but she believed in Paige and believed in them together and that was enough, for now.

* * *

**This is it for my little transition story. It's important for the next installment. Yes, I said it. There's more.**


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